Drive

That eleven hour road trip was all that it took

For the memories to come flooding back.

Waves of the times that I thought were dead and gone

Suddenly, it all felt too sad.

Never before had I seen you open up

Couldn’t comprehend¬†what had been left behind.

Too young and naive

Now I’m older, I see

What led to the change of two minds.

I’ve seen you cry once,

At a push, maybe twice

But after listening to what you had to say last night

I know it’s not always tears

That mean you’re sincere,

Sometimes being strong is what leads to goodbyes.

I love you, 

We love you,

They love you,

I know

Those feelings one can try so hard to hide.

It’s easy to see

When you’re someone like me,

The truth behind glassy eyes.

You’re the missing piece from this fragmentary puzzle,

The key to this faithful door.

I love you, 

We love you,

They love you,

I know

You love us,

And that’s what’s more.

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In My Sleep

Still can’t believe it’s been a year

Since those six words pierced through my ears

You were snatched from our hands.

 

The malicious voicemail echoed through

A warm house that still smelt of you,

But you were ours,

I didn’t understand.

 

But I see you when I close my eyes

You’re standing there like everything is fine

These dreams they take me back in time,

And it all makes sense that I’m

Habituating to the grief

But you’re still here, you’re in my dreams

I awoke with certainty,

That you’ll be waiting for me.

I won’t tremble when I speak

Since I heard you laughing in my sleep,

That’s how I know you’ll be

waiting at the gate for me.
Yesterday I watched our video from that day at the zoo

Despite the coolest sights around us,

I just sat and stared at you.

The train moved fast,

You held me tightly,

I smiled but it started to rain.

I got off first,

You stayed on it.

The train sped up,

Life did the same.

I still hear your voice in every card that you wrote,

Still feel the softness of every word that you spoke.

Every New Year we’ll still be making a toast,

To the good times

You know we’ll have a good time.

Habituating to the grief,
But you’re still here, you’re in my dreams,

And I awoke with certainty that

You’ll be waiting for me.

I won’t tremble when I speak

Since I heard you laughing in my sleep

That’s how I know you’ll be,

Waiting at the gate for me.

I think of you the most on days like today.

sunset

Running home from school when I was nine

With a drawing in my hand of you and I.

Seeing your face light up with delight

was what¬†I loved the most about the things that I’d write.

All of my friends at school

Would dedicate their creations to boys and girls who they thought were cool

Whilst there I sat with paper, crayons and glue

Thinking up the next letter that I’d be writing to you.

Running home from school when I was eleven

“I got in!”

It was time for me to move up to year seven.

I put on my new uniform and gave you a twirl

and a hug to assure you that I was still your little girl.

You opened your purse and pulled out a box

The one that I made you

You loved it a lot.

And from that little box you took out the letter

You cried as you read it, it made you feel better.

Only you know exactly what that letter read

A reminder that you would always be my best friend.

Taking my GCSE exams when I was fifteen

You could no longer hold on, you passed on in your sleep.

Your funeral was on the day of my RE exam,

I sat in the hall with my pen in my hand.

That ghastly image as I walked home

Your coffin in the funeral car,

I’d never felt so alone.

Collecting my results a couple of months later,

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I looked down at the paper.

An A in English Literature and an A in RE

The subject that I love and

the exam that I took on the day that you were officially

 taken from me.

Today I passed my first year of A-Levels

Mum cried and told me she’s¬†so proud of me.

But how we both wish that you were here,

if only you could see.

I am never sure about much

But there is one thing that I know

You’re my guardian angel,

You guide me to where I need to go.

I may not see you

But you’ll be with me forever

I’ll continue to make you proud

You’ll be the motivation behind every endeavour.

Charcoal sketch 

Here is a quick charcoal sketch that I did yesterday afternoon when I got in from college. I spent around two to three minutes on it, sketching only the basic outlines of a vase of artificial flowers that sit by our fireplace in our living room.

I really like how the first flower looks (it’s obvious which one I’m talking about) considering that it took me such a short amount of time, even though I know that it’s far from being something worthy of framing as it was just a practice sketch to see how the charcoal would sit on the page. The stems are too dark and I went a bit wild on the thin leaves. Next time I will put more care and thought into those areas to make them look like actual leaves and stems and not just scribbly lines!

Regardless, I will be using charcoal more often- it makes a change from pen!

Creating something new from something old

My art lesson today consisted of us looking back at old pieces of work and deciding whether we wanted to keep them or take them back home with us. Here is one of my old sketches that I scanned a while ago and completely forgot about because I had already worked into a couple of other scans of the same sketch with watercolour and ink. However, looking back at it today, I decided that I didn’t want to waste the final copy and I decided that I wanted to do something different, steering away from the same old watercolour techniques alone.

So, I decided to use a little drop of watercolour on the legs and on the stairs, but use something different for the floor. I printed some vintage style wallpaper out on a piece of A4 cartridge paper and began to tear it up to collage it around the feet.

Personally, I think it worked quite well! I like the added texture created by the overlapping torn pieces of paper instead of shaping the design precisely around the boots. I am quite liking collaging and I will therefore do so more often!

Amy x

Brightening the mood of the day with some watercolour painting

Good afternoon!

I thought I would share a painting that I produced today after the rain disrupted my concentration and I just needed to do something more enjoyable than studying.

This took me around 15 minutes after experimenting with the paint on a scrap piece of paper. The image was inspired by the photo that I posted with my ‘In The Night’ poem. I find sunsets SO beautiful and intriguing.

I know that the painting is far from realistic- especially the black silhouettes of the trees which I rushed because I really wanted to get it finished (one of my many flaws when it comes to art). I knew that painting the trees was going to be quite tricky before I had even started because I planned to use black Indian ink tomorrow at my boyfriend’s house (it works a dream!) but I thought I would work with what I have and give watercolours a try in the meantime.

As you can see, I trimmed the A4 paper down to fit an A5 frame because the black silhouettes took up most of the page (the main focus was supposed to be the beautiful sunset)

Nevertheless, it was a bit of fun and it kept me occupied for a short while. Now I need a hot bath before continuing with my studying before my FINAL EXAM TOMORROW! Yippee!

Thanks for having a look!

Amy xx